For the past few months, I've been in an automated mode and I have yet to catch a breath. My mental health has taken a tremendous toll, as a result of unnecessary, atrocious and unfair events at work. This resulted in my physical health being affected, by default. Coming out from this terrible ordeal, I have learned that the most significant thing is that, no matter how tiring life can get, you have to stand up for yourself, and stand up for what is right. Don't shrivel. And through it all, no matter how difficult it is, always try to see the positive, from something that is such a negative experience. You will then come out stronger, I promise.
My weekdays always begin in this sequence. Waking up to a super early alarm, jump in the shower, you'll be able to have some breakfast if time permits, and before you know it, you're at work by 7:20am (sometimes earlier), you're ready to seize the day and do the best that you can. Some days, I would come out on top of the world, and other days, as someone I know would say, I would get owned.
Now, don't get me wrong. I am very thankful for many things in my life. I am thankful for the opportunities that have come my way, thankful for the experiences and feelings I have been able to feel, thankful for the support system through my family and friends and for the travelling I've been able to do. When I think of all those moments, a glimpse of hope suddenly appears. These thoughts transport me to the rarest of moments, moments that don't happen everyday, but the moments which shaped and defined me and moments that will always be etched in my memories, the details which I would remember, down to a tee.
These are some of my moments...
1. Falling in love for the first time
They say it's rare and special. People remember their first love, their first kiss, the first time someone said I love you. I have been in relationships before, my last long-term relationship lasted around four years, but looking back on it now, I was not in love with him. If I ever thought I did, I definitely was not, towards the latter part of the relationship. It took a lot of strength to leave an abusive relationship from a very manipulative person, when you were so emotionally involved and so deep in it.
When I finally found myself again, I was exhilarated, relieved and excited. I loved my freedom again, and I felt free from the shackles of oppression I had felt for the past year or so. Finally, I was so so happy again. Maturity is learning to walk away from people and situations that threaten your peace of mind, self-respect, values, morals or self-worth.
Some time later, after finding myself again, I found a refreshing experience. I have only been in love once, in my life. I met someone unexpectedly. We connected on many levels. He was smart, educated, articulate, charismatic, good-looking. He said I was a diamond, a pearl and a rare gem, and in many ways, to me, he was different. For that first love, I will always have love for him and respect for him, because with him, I found a missing puzzle piece that I had been searching for after I lost it a little while ago. And most importantly, this experience reminded me that every one deserves to be with the best person that loves them for who they are.
And, what I learned from this is summed up in this quote:
A relationship should not be measured in months or years. It's the caliber of the memories that matter. Their impact, their permanence, and the degree to which they change you. I've had relationships lasting years I can now scarcely recollect, and hours with others that feel like infinities.
3. Childhood memory
Some of my fondest memories are my childhood memories. I had a great childhood and writing this, I am reminded of how blessed I was to have lived the childhood that I did. My dad has always had a great vision and my mom has always been supportive of his vision and together they were a great team in raising us. No one is perfect, there were times when I wished my dad signed me up for ballet classes when I was little, but he signed me up for other activities, the ones which he thought would be worthwhile in shaping my future.
My childhood was a busy, fun, carefree, peaceful time in my life. Training and playing tennis under the scorching sun everyday with my family and winning my first tournament, getting ready to go to the airport at ridiculous hours for family holidays, being a social butterfly attending many birthday parties, to my dad waiting outside my classroom so I can collect my birthday invites from him and hand them out to all my friends. That last memory is one of my all-time favorite memories, and to this day, I don't know why it is so vivid in my memories.
2. Success & Achievements
From Day 1, my parents have instilled in me, the importance of education. As a modern young woman, I am proud to be working alongside and have worked alongside some of the best in the industry. I am especially inspired by the strong women that I get to work and collaborate with. Without the immense support from my parents, I would not be where I am today. Sure, I worked hard (sweat and tears) but their unconditional love and financial support throughout my private schooling years and University have given me a great boost in life.
Goal setting is very important to me, and I have always set goals throughout my life. I am always working towards something. When I look back on some of the proudest moments of my life so far, I'm taken back to these moments: when I was accepted into Law school, when I was awarded two degrees; Bachelor of Health Sciences and Bachelor of Laws (LLB), when I was admitted to the Bar as Solicitor and Barrister of the High Court of New Zealand, when I started my own blog, when I started my own Employment Law Consultancy and made money from it...just to name a few.
Not much can beat the feeling of seeing your fruits of labor. Working towards all these goals taught me about passion, resilience, strength, perseverance, commitment, dedication and to be mentally strong. I apply these in all aspects of my life.
4. The first time I met my forever love
I wanted to save this story for a later date, while not revealing too much as I would prefer to keep my private life, as private as I can. But, it fits nicely with this blog post I'm writing. And, it's only natural that one would share an essence of a special relationship, someone that means a lot to me.
When I reflect on this specific moment, I remember thinking that it took me by surprise because at the time, I wasn't really looking to be in a relationship or looking for a relationship, as I was enjoying having time to myself fully and was casually seeing people at the time. I remember the day when I first met my boy and where I met him.
I remember my first thoughts about him, the first time he looked at me, and my heart melted, the first time we held hands, the first time we kissed and seeing him at airport terminals each time always feels like the first time. And, when I think about it now, it still gives me butterflies and I wish I could re-live those moments.
This post was created in collaboration with The Grand Mercure Hotel (Auckland) which is one of my go-to places to celebrate. I leave you all with this gorgeous quote. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
“Life is unpredictable,
it changes with the seasons.
Even your coldest winter,
happens for the best of reasons.
And though it feels eternal,
like all you’ll ever do is freeze.
I promise Spring is coming,
and with it, brand new leaves.”
– Erin Hanson
I'd love to know some of your favorite moments. Connect and share with me on Instagram @PinkandSparklesNZ.